OPINION | It’s Not Just ‘White Women Issues’, Indian Men’s Chauvinism Runs Much Deeper
The night my boyfriend Rajan took me home to meet his mother, I felt “white” for the first time in my life. Obviously, I’d been aware of my my own skin color long before we started dating, but until that night in March, I’d never had a reason to use the word “Caucasian. When we made the trip from our college upstate to Queens, New York, we were confronted by the harsh winds of a cold front as we departed the bus and walked into the New York City subway. I’d never ridden the subway before. In the Rust Belt where I’d grown up, people drove four-wheelers and pick-up trucks. The way the subway cars bumped along the tracks reminded me of Morse code. Dot dash, dot dash, dot dash.
What Happened When I Married into Indian Culture
I lived in India till two years ago. I was 24 and was studying and working as a freelance journalist. I had the chance to travel the country and meet different people in various cities, while also getting to spend time at IIM Lucknow with both Indian and European students. During those months, I talked with people from different social strata — I interacted with wealthy Indian elite; with taxi drivers, hotel hosts and restaurant waiters; with working Indian women, some of who shared their flats with men.
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I Broke Up With Her Because She’s White
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A lot of women tend to give their look and attire a lot of thought before going for a date. Giving an insight into what is popular with most men in India between the age group of years, app TrulyMadly shares a few pointers that could prove to be useful. Read: Large women more vulnerable to stress over fear of date rejection. A red dress with high heels follows next. From wearing a red lipstick to making the first move, women can finally let go of their inhibitions.
Read: Nothing wrong with voyeuristic, kinky fetishes, says study.
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It might seem strange to invoke an Alice Walker essay in connection with the new Netflix reality series, Indian Matchmaking , but, here we go. The essay is revolutionary for that coinage. Walker explicitly draws a connection between skin color and marriage. Walker tells us two smaller, adjoining stories, about herself and a friend in their single days. In the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking , the importance of skin color arrives quickly in talk of matrimony, as do other facets of packaged appearance, the sorts that indicate a notion of a stratified universe: This level of education matches with this one, this shade of skin with this, this height with this, these family values with these, this caste with this, this region with this, and so on.
In the series, she takes on clients in India and America, young desi men and women who seem, for all their desire to get properly paired off, equally conflicted about the whole endeavor. The women work and travel; they like their lives and have friends who offer the sort of support a spouse might. All seem to want, at some level, simple, non-transactional, unconditional affection. At the same time, they talk in transactional terms.
The series leaves us with a somewhat haunting vision, an echo of a refrain repeated throughout the show, but one that lands louder with our final subject. Richa is the child of immigrants to America and speaks with a generic American flatness. Yet, certain notes cut through the assimilative blur. I can give her I think 95 marks out of hundred.
How to Date an Indian (Advice for the Non-Indian)
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A Jewish friend of mine remarked once, only half joking, that he believed Indians are the true Chosen People. With no offense to Moses, I had to agree. I lived in India for about three years and my husband currently known as my husPad, thanks to his appropriating the iPad he “gave me,” — but that is another column is from New Delhi, which, in addition to providing me with lots of Indian friends and in-laws, have given me a pretty good perspective on the desirability of the people from the world’s largest democracy — and how to woo them.
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